Rainy Wuhan

I believe I am about due to update everyone on my life here on the other side of the planet. I find myself finding less to write about as things get settled into a daily routine without much change. Lets start by a new list of weird stuff and observations i've seen and made this month in China!

5. It seems the students have no idea what the word Religion means. Which hampered my ability to teach the word spiritual as was required the text, but also pleased me to some extent. They have a class they take called "Moral Class" where they learn to follow the Socialist ideals and read the words of poets and Chairman Mao (the ones that aren't crazy). You wouldn't find a elementary school kid in Canada with any knowledge of socialist ideals or even all that much poetry for that matter. Wether this is a good thing or not it was strange hearing the words great socialist ideals coming from a 10 year olds mouth.

4. Muslims make the best lamb sticks. It is becoming one of my favourite snacks in Wuhan, you can find them on many corners with their little barbeques cooking lamb on sticks with spices. One of them asked me "Ni shi Muzi ma?" which afterwards i learnt meant "are you muslim?" Nemo told me he thought I was muslim because I look slightly middle eastern apparently..... news to me.

3. Chinese people HATE the Japanese. I don't even know if the word hate is strong enough. If you even mention the word to a kid they will cower in fear. I was asking my class what they are scared of most and among the spiders, snakes and their fathers, a popular answer was Japanese people. Alot of them seem unaware why they don't like them it's just one of those things that IS. The Japanese do have a long history of occupation and massacres in China, many of which they still have not apologized for. But I still find it strange the level of propaganda going around about the Japanese in general. I am even scared to even write these words here, thats how strange it all is. I will touch more on this on the essay I plan to write on cultural differences.

2. WEIRD FLAVOURED SNACK FOODS! This one point is driving me mental. The Chinese seem to have this weird fascination with mixing salty and sweet together, which i believe is a no no. You cannot find regular flavoured chips anywhere, some I have found and had the misfortune of eating are: Blueberry, Sour and hot Fish, Cucumber, Lime (but like green skittles) Mexican Tomato Chicken and Lemon Tea. Popcorn is also flavoured sweet like strawberry or other fruit. Lays needs to take the notch down on the crazy-flavoured-shit-o-meter in China. I know they are strange and little and like different things but this is wacko.

1. And the number one weird and disturbing thing i've witnessed in the last little while is the consumption of mans best friend. Which I thought was a myth before coming to China. I was bored one day and decided to memorize the Chinese word and character for dog meat, which is gou rou or 狗肉, and go on a little adventure. I rode the bus to Xudong and tried to see If I could see that on any of the restaurants on the way there. This was a terrible game. There was tons of shops on the way and I soon realized I did not need to learn the characters because there was pictures posted on the signs outside. Here I was thinking they were pet shops. I used to think oh look at that nice place that sells Golden Retrievers, such beautiful animals they are. But now seeing the character for dog meat on the banner, pet shops they were no more. I even saw a place showing a dog on a plate cooked and cut into four pieces, the little head and tail sticking out the end. I left myself pondering If I could ever eat a dog. What makes it so different from say, a pig? Is it intelligence or cuteness? Pigs are statistically proven to have a higher intelligence level than dogs. I've also seen the movie Babe. Still, years of coexistence with those wonderful animals I know I could never bring myself to do it.

I hope I haven't ruined anyones day

On to my update:

It rains so much in Wuhan I have actually questioned the existence of either Chinese weather control, or magic ancient Chinese water dragons. Either one seems a plausible explanation for the amount of rain that poors down in Wuhan. Sometime it will rain for a week straight, only to see the sunshine for a day at most. When the sunshine finally comes you realize oh yea, I'm in China and the sun barely penetrates the clouds of pollution anyways. Everything is always grey or rainy. In fact thats a good way to describe China, so many shades of grey. This, along with the language barrier, lack of western comforts and endless crowds of pushy-shovey asian people you can quickly see how easily it is for a foreigner to feel depressed or have culture shock. Luckily I've been okay so far. Theres only been one FML night i've had here and it was coming home drunk one night alone and thinking way too much. But everyone knows alcohol is a depressant as it is.

I find the key to staying sane for me has been the company of those around me, appreciation for little things and a steady schedule.

During the week I have classes from 8:40 till 12:15 here at this school. On Monday and Wednesday nights I have chinese classes. Wednesday afternoon, Friday evening and some weekends I do extra work for other schools around the city. In between all of this I am marking, creating lesson plans or keeping in touch with friends from home.

On weekends the teachers usually all get together, we are like a big family.

2 weekends ago I got to play my first show in China at a bar called Wuhan Prison, which is a really awesome little indie/folk bar in Wuchang. They put me headlining the show without even hearing me play and all the teachers came out to watch as well as a bunch of Chinese people. I borrowed someones guitar and played about 8 songs, including some of my own. They all loved it. I had the chinese people all singing wonderwall at the end and it was really great to be playing and doing what I love again.

Last weekend two of the teachers (who got engaged here in China) hosted a chili night at their apartment. It was amazing to taste western food again! There was grated cheese and garlic bread and Franks red hot sauce. I was in heaven. Like I said, being in China makes you appreciate the little things so much more. Like great friends and great food, something that seems to go unappreciated sometimes back home. But when your on the other side of the world every little moment like that you cherish, like when I had poutine and Moosehead in Shanghai and toasted Canada. Every little thing.

This week we get paid and I plan on doing a little shopping. I'm going to finally buy a guitar as well as some new clothes, as Wuhan has become terribly cold and I only brought one sweater. Although I can imagine the snow is starting to roll in back home in Canada. I told my students the size of the snowbanks in Canada and they seemed terrified. If anyone wants to send me pictures to show my kids of our snow-ridden landscape that would be cool.

Also feel free to leave comments so I know people are actually reading these!

Love and miss you all,

Corey

Coreys Fun China Train Game!

So I'm up at 3:30 in the morning and for some reason have some crazy thoughts flowing through my head... which may be the norm for me i don't know.. define crazy thoughts..
Anyways, after writing my blog the question i'm still getting asked most is what it was like on the 13 hour standing class train ride of doom. So after long, careful thought I have come up with a perfect game you can play at home in order to fully experience what it is like to be on a China train. I call it Coreys Fun China Train Game! You don't need much just a trip to a local printing place and a good patient friend. Only 5 steps to it. So instead of explaining my experience to anyone anymore you can now all do it from the safety of your own homes.

Requirements:
1-3 very good friends
5-10 giant cardboard cutouts (for the full experience over 200 will be required but 5-10 will suffice for simulation)
a meter stick or measuring tape
an area of your home without a T.V on, a painting or any sort of eye candy. The more soul-crushing the surroundings the better.

Step 1:
-Find full body pictures of Asian people (preferably chinese but they are all alike). The more irritable they look the better. Next you must find a place that will do full life size cardboard cut outs and print off at least 5-10 full sized asians. Expenses are the responsibility of the main player of the game and not the friend participants.

Step 2:
-Find 1-3 friends that would be willing to spend 13 hours in your house. They are free to eat or drink as they please and may do whatever they want when not performing duties. 3 works best because they can go in shifts.

Step 3 (Setup):
-Measure a spot in your house approximately half a meter (50cm) square.
-Place the Asian cardboard cutouts around the square. Get them as close as possible. Leave no room to move within the square or move out of the square. Only the friend participants will have the ability to move freely in or out of the square.

Step 4:
-Tell your friends to come step over you or try to knock you over the second you ever look remotely comfortable. This includes closing your eyes, crouching, sitting cross legged with your head down or any attempts to sleep whatsoever. The moment they witness this they must come walk overtop you if you are crouching or sitting or push you aside if you are standing. If they let you sleep even 5 minutes they have failed. Make these rules very clear before beginning.

Step 5:
- Stand in square for 13 hours

First China Vacation Part 2 Shanghai

I boarded the 10pm train to Shanghai on Tuesday night.....
The Beijing train station was packed full of people, all on vacation for the national holiday. Because I was not in the seating class I was boarded last and I, along with about 50-70 other poor individuals without seats, scrambled and squeezed onto the train to find ourselves a nice place in the aisle. Some people were smart enough to bring little stools. Some just sat on each others laps or cuddled up against the person beside them. You see the idea of personal space is much different in China and there seems to be no problem with two grown men who don't know each other to sit on each others laps or rest their heads on each others shoulders.
I scoped out a prime location on the floor and crouched down to read for the first leg of the trip, though a little cramped and awkward with all the stares from people. What was this foreigner doing in the aisle? Aren't they supposed to be rich, those from the west? I just kept to myself and tried to get comfortable with my claimed spot of land where I would be spending the next 13 terrible, begrudging hours. I envied those with seats. Never before have I felt so appreciative of a comfort as simple as a place to sit.
The train rolled out of the station and I knew I was in for a long night.
I got close to those around me. On the floor of the train people would help each other get comfortable any way possible. They would move their bodies to help you lean on them or coordinate some sort of seating/crouching arrangement to help those around you. People from home I think would be quite uncomfortable with this ideas of being so close to complete strangers. But after the first 6 hours of the trip, with no sleep and no place to sit properly, you'd be surprised how fast that fades. The biggest pain the ass was people would be constantly getting out of their seats to either go to the washroom or go to the back of the train to smoke (directly under a no smoking sign btw.) You would finally get comfortable and close your eyes and another person would get up and climb over all those in the aisle. It made you feel nice these fortunate people with their SEATS walking over you like you are scum. Also apparently asians have to go to the washroom or smoke every 3-4 minutes.
At about the 10 hour mark the train stopped at a random city and decided to pick some more people up. All also without seats and to be shoved in the aisle. We all got up to make room for them and being the nice person I am, moved to let someone pass. Except he didn't pass. He stood directly in front of me and stayed there, now preventing me from crouching down or sitting on the floor like I was before; Which was dirty and cramped but a hell of alot better than standing for 13 hours. I took a deep breath and practiced patience, like i had for the last 10 hours, and stood for the rest of the journey.
Finally, after I thought the trip was never going to end, we pulled into the station in Shanghai. Never have I been so happy to get off a train in my life. I could move again. I was free to sit, stand or lie down at will, without asians squished up against me. Free at last.

Now saying Shanghai is a large, modern, bustling city is an understatement. This place was HUGE. Everything about Shanghai was huge and happening. Giant skyscrapers and neon lights, you think your in an asian Manhattan (which I later learnt downtown Shanghai is in fact modelled after). I checked in to my hostel where I met Bobby and Lloyd and had another wonderful Western style breakfast of Bacon and Eggs. Okay eggs and a strange meat resembling bacon, but I was definitely missing a real breakfast all month. After wandering the city for awhile and having a much needed nap, I decided to go meet Shane and Dina at the world expo.
Shanghai was the host of the world Expo this year and I just caught the final days of it. Countries from all over the world had set up pavilions in this giant park (think Landsdown on crack) and In the pavilions were exhibits, food and other cultural things to represent their country. Each had their own unique building.
There was only one destination I had here.
I bought tickets and walked past every single countries pavilion. I ran actually. Past Mexico and Poland. Past Russia and Thailand. Past a huge red white and blue building covered in corporate advertisements for mcdonalds and walmart (guess who!) and finally, around the corner from Australia and Great Britain, I came to a beautiful red and white building with a large neon sign that read;

Canada.

I smiled.
At the expo, If you are from the country of the pavilion you get right in. No waiting in line for me, I was getting VIP treatment.
I walked in to a whole wall dedicated to Hockey night in Canada. Beautiful sight. I could hear the asian kids behind me amazed at the sight of people flying across the ice and smashing into each other on the boards, probably seeing it for the first time in their lives.
The rest of the pavilion showed videos of our cities and landscapes and I've never been so proud to be Canadian in my entire life. We truly live in a beautiful country.
At the end of the building there was a little restaurant where I was stopped in my tracks at the sight of Poutine. AND Canadian beer. As I sat in the restaurant eating poutine and drinking a Moosehead I made a toast to our wonderful country.
Outside the pavilion, Shane informed me that there would be a concert. Bedouin Soundclash of all bands was playing in China that night! How random is that? We took our seats up front and watched. Apparently the Chinese had no idea how to react to this strange rock/reggae music so all the Canadians up front got up and got the whole crowd dancing. It was hilarious.
Afterwards, I met a group of people from Sudbury. Even at the opposite side of the Earth you'll still bump into folks from Northern Ontario. They were such nice people.
We then left the expo and headed to Jin Mao Tower to have drinks in the sky.

The bar in Jin Mao tower, called Cloud Nine, Is the highest bar in the world. We took the elevator up to the 87th floor where the bar is located and immediately felt out of place and underdressed. This place was way too classy. After being informed from the staff that there is a 130rmb minimum per person as well as a 15% service charge (the only place you would tip in China) we took our seats and looked out to the view of the city. I couldn't believe how high up we were. It made the view from the CN tower look like nothing. The drinks were all around 100Rmb each and we saw bottles of wine for around 30,000. Me and Shane ordered the cheapest draught on the menu and got a small plate of appetizers and still the bill came to around 500rmb. Which was more than i'd spent on my whole trip to Beijing. Damn crazy sky bar. I better get drunk faster at this altitude, I hoped.
I did not. sad face.

We payed our bill and headed home. It had been a long eventful day and I was more than ready for bed.

The next day was rather uneventful. We went to a bar called Abbey Road. Our Chinese server had a Liverpool accent, which, hours later I still couldn't get over for some reason. Then we went to a bar called the Beaver where I had a 2 hour drunken conversation with a group of German evolutionary Biologists. Everywhere we went their were tons of foreigners, I was no longer the only one. It was a strange place, Shanghai. A mix of the modern and the old. By the end of my trip I had forgotten I was even in China.
I remembered that the next day I would be heading back to dirty, foggy Wuhan. Where the streets are constantly full of the slaughter of random animals, construction and fireworks. I actually missed Wuhan for a strange reason still unknown to me.
I woke up at 6 the next morning and checked out of my hostel. But not before an early morning walk to the waterfront where i snapped that panoramic of the sunrise. I waved goodbye to Shanghai and took the subway to the train station.

Boarding my train to Wuhan, I stopped for a moment to breathe in a wonderful sight.
For there, in front of my eyes, was a seat.
A beautiful, glorious seat.

First China Vacation Part 1 Beijing

Hello Westerners! I am back from my week long vacation and my first time really travelling in China. I'll have to say it was quite the adventure and I have so much to tell I've decided to take it in two parts. Once again i know my blogs have been stretched far and in between (if anyone actually reads them!), this is mostly because my day to day life in Wuhan has become at times repetitive! Although I still see the odd thing that is worth writing about. Anyways, a little preface:
I hadn't had the money at the time to book my train ticket with all the other teachers so I ended up flying out on sunday morning by myself to meet them all there. My flight left at 8am and I had to be there at 7am. Taking an hour to get there that meant I woke up at 5:30. Except I didn't really wake up per se. I gave up on sleep because I was too excited and just stayed up all night.
I walked outside at 6am into complete nothingness. Had I just died? All you could see was cloudy white air and maybe a few feet in front of you. I assumed this was morning fog and, when mixed with Wuhans usual pollution haze, offered a view distance of about 5 feet. The few taxis that were on the main road were driving so slow you could walk faster than them. I was glad to be leaving this grey depressing place for the capital of China. But as most things in my life it was not without random bad luck obstacles. The fog/pollution/end of all mankind fallout was so thick that my plane was grounded on the runway for about 2 and a half hours. Awesome. Perfect start to a day. If I didn't make it to Beijing before noon or so all the other teachers there would most likely be off sightseeing without me and not at the hostel. Making it difficult to find them. Eventually though, I sighed a breath of relief as my plane lifted off and I was off the Beijing.

I landed in Beijing at about 1pm. So much for making it before noon. I quickly called all the teachers but no one seemed to pick up. Looks like I was going to have to find my way to the hostel on my own. Before leaving i had written down basic directions and a hilarious kindergarten map of the area I would be staying in. Very confused and lost in the airport, I somehow managed to find the bullet train that took me to the subway line and eventually to where my hostel was near Tiannamen Square. While riding the train through the city, I looked out the window in wonder. Is that a BLUE sky I see? are those TREES? Is this lady on the intercom speaking in ENGLISH? Was I even still in China? I swear I had just gotten off in Scarborough and was heading into downtown Toronto. What is this madness. I made my way to the crowded Beijing subway. When I say crowded I mean crowded. This was China National Week and apparently, pretty much every asian was headed to the capital. Facing my second obstacle of the day, I realized my subway stop was not even functioning as the train just blew right by. I got off anyways and decided to walk to my hostel using my crayon map.
Beijing is a beautiful city. I had expected it to be dirtier and more polluted than Wuhan but I was definitely wrong. This was a vacation from the China I knew. Everywhere had english signs. When I bought water she spoke english to me and said have a nice day. I was beaming as I checked into my hostel and set out to find the rest of the teachers, who were at the Beijing Silk Street doing some shopping.

I'm going to have to say that the silk market in Beijing is every womans dream and every mans nightmare. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silk_Street.
6 floors of everything you can even think of buying, all bunched up into tiny stalls. People yell at you when you pass them, asking if you want this or that. Armani, Gucci, Prada, Luis Vitton all either incredibly cheap or flat out amazing fakes. Everything you buy comes with a wonderfully addicting game to go with it, the bargaining game. The "Whos a Cheaper Asshole" game. The girls were all having a heyday. They had already perfected the art of bargaining and were getting things that were at first 1500 kuai, down to about 100 (which is about $15 canadian.) Myself I wanted to leave the place about 3 minutes after being in it. But the girls were in for the long haul so I decided to make a few purchases. I bought a swiss army knife, a poker set and some Nike Air running shoes (150 kuai!) for the 10k Great Wall hike we were doing in the morning. Apparently I was not very good at "Who's A Cheaper Asshole" and the other teachers laughed at the prices I got the stuff for. Except the shoes. Which i brought one of the expert females with me to purchase.
Later on we went to a Western restaurant and i had my first real pizza and beer since i've been in China. But I was exhausted and ended the night early. We were getting up at 6am to go hike the Great Wall Of China.



We all hopped on the bus early Monday morning. The tour would be taking us about 4 hours out of the city to a section of a wall rarely travelled by tourists and far more authentic. What some people don't know is that the main part of the wall you see in pictures and as the tourist attraction is not even a real part of the wall. It was restored and made to resemble the original wall, they even made it wider so as to fit more people on it, meaning more Kuai from tourists. As I will learn theres not much real left from ancient China.
On the way there I was pleased to enjoy an episode of southpark. Last thing I had expected. It was the one where they hire the Chinese guy to build a wall to keep out the Mongolians. It was fitting and hilarious. When we finally arrived I strapped on my new Nikes and got ready for one of the hardest hikes of my life.
I had no idea the stamina it was going to take to climb this thing. In pictures it seems so straight and casual but not this part. It goes straight up a mountain by way of steep, broken, stone steps and some parts none at all. Your always climbing, but that meant the view got better everytime you looked back and what a view it was. The view from the Great Wall is breathtaking. For the first time in China I was in awe of something natural. The endless green mountains and the wall snaking for miles out of view, I enjoyed every minute of the hike besides the fact I was huffing and puffing, so out of shape, as the air got thinner. I yelled and threw rocks off the great wall and tried to picture Mongolian hordes attacking from the other side. The thin air was for sure getting to me. At the halfway point of the hike you get to the part of the wall that hasn't been restored for 500 years. It was grown over with shrubs and trees for the most part and others were just a thin line of concrete where you have to walk across. I though back home this would never be allowed without some sort of safety rail and was happy the Chinese don't really care all that much for safety. After the 3 hour hike was over I was exhausted and inspired at the same time. Also starving. After carving my name into the one of the wonders of the world, we headed home to have Peking Duck for dinner. It was delicious.

The next day I went to the Tiannamen Square and the Forbidden City. Which was equally packed with tourists. This blog is already way too long so instead of explaining the history behind the place i'll just post a link for anyone interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_City. All i have to say about the forbidden city is that while being beautiful and massive, not much of the real architecture is authentic. Most of it was restored. But It was still badass walking on the same forbidden ground the emperors of China walked on for hundreds of years. After a long 5 hour walk around Beijing I took a much needed nap and planned the next leg of my journey.
This is where things got interesting. A few of the teachers decided that instead of going back to Wuhan and doing nothing for 4 days they would take a train to Shanghai and spend the rest of the vacation there. Unfortunately for me they failed to mention this to me and had already booked the tickets well in advance. I scrambled to get a ticket booked but all the trains were booked up. The person at the hostel told me there was another option but usually they don't even bother offering it to foreigners; Standing class. You see on China trains you can get Soft Sleeper (the most expensive, offering a nice comfy bed) Hard sleeper, Soft Seat and for the poor or unfortunate few, standing class. You have a ticket on the train but no seat and you are forced to stand/sit/kneel/crouch in the aisle of the soft seat cars. This was a 13 hour overnight train. I figured screw it, I'm in China. What other chance would i get to do something like this. Also the ticket was only 150 kuai (the same price as my running shoes). I took it. The chinese people working at the desk and the other teachers around all looked at me crazily "are you sure!?!" they asked.
It can't be that bad? right?
I would soon find out.... to be continued

East Lake, sickness and mosquito hunt

So its 12:30am and I should definitely be sleeping considering I have to get up at 7. But I am awake for three reasons:
1. I had to mark 45 two page tests.
2. The nightly mosquito hunt has gone on longer than usual.
3. I'm becoming unhealthily addicted to Starcraft 2 (this is mostly the reason)

Blog instead? My thoughts exactly. Let me update you on the last few days.
On Saturday I did my first real touristy type thing since being in Wuhan. Me and another teacher decided to go to East Lake, which is the biggest lake within a city in all of China. It was about a 30 minute cab ride away so I went to meet the other teacher up at Xudong and then we set off with my trusty Ipod map guiding the way. I've gotten into the recent habit of getting around by pointing to my destination on my Ipod. Which sometimes works and sometimes ,like the last time i took a cab home, fails miserably. But it is a hell of alot better than trying to pronounce "Wo xiang yao qu Nan Hu Hua Yuen Xie Xie, Hao ma?" which i usually have to say to get myself home.
When we pulled up the main gate I was excited to see the amount of trees and how quiet it seemed to be in this part of the city. We walked around the lake for about 3 hours. There are many paths and walkways to go down as well as a bunch of random amusement rides and restaurants on the water. It was beautiful. The picture above I took standing on a dock just before we took a boat ride. The man stopped us and wanted to take us for 50 kuai, so I laughed at him and kept walking. He lowered the price and I agreed. My first successful haggle in China. We got in the boat not knowing what to expect. This man turned out to think he was in some sort of Jackie Chan movie and decided to pull crazy stunts in the motor boat and scare the hell out of us. The ride lasted maybe 5 minutes and I was kind of upset about the fact that I just payed 40 kuai for a 5 minute boat ride. Here I was thinking I got a deal. Anyways we continued walking and saw huge ponds of lotus, alot of pagodas and on the other side of the lake we could even see Chairman Mao's private villa where he stayed in the summer. Next time I go to East Lake i'm going to for sure check it out.
In our 3 hours of walking we barely saw half the stuff there is to see on the lake. You can take a boat across and go to a zoo where they have Pandas apparently. On a side note I taught a kid named Panda on the weekend. I really couldn't contain my excitement upon learning his name. Off topic. I posted a few pictures of East lake as well as the massive mall we visited after on my flickr site. www.flickr.com/photos/coreyinchina
When I say massive, this is in Chinese terms I'm talking. They build everything massive. Perhaps trying to compensate for..... yes.. So this thing had 6 floors, an arcade, a Ferris wheel, bumper cars, a movie theatre, basketball nets and tons of things i can't read. The food we got in said shopping mall was the cause of the second title of this blog, sickness.

After eating saturday night I woke up Sunday with a bad fever and a terrible stomach ache. I was yet to get sick so I was wondering when that would happen. It seems inevitable when getting used to new food, air and an incredible lack of cleanliness in China. Oh I forgot to mention I also was supposed to teach on Sunday. We have a holiday on Wednesday so you'd think, well thats nice the kids and teachers get a 4 day week. But China doesn't lose education over silly holidays. They work there kids straight into the ground. In protest and in sickness I decided to take the day off. My grade 4's were just reviewing for a test anyways and It would do my grade 5's good to just go over what I taught them last week. Which was about Boy scouts and Cub scouts, by the way, for some strange reason they think that it is an important part of learning english.
I lied around all day yesterday and finally recovered so today I went back to work feeling a little better.
Now let me explain my nightly ritual to you all. The great mosquito hunt. I had no idea China would have so many at night time.
The first few nights here I would just sleep with the blanket over my head and hide but I apparently have an annoying need to breathe oxygen (if you could call chinese air that.) I keep all my doors and windows closed all day so I know there is only a set amount of mosquitoes present each night. If I get all of them before bed I will have a peaceful sleep. If not, then one little bastard will bite me constantly all night while I flail helplessly in the dark.
So i turn on all my lights and stand in the middle of my room, usually half naked, and I wait. I stand perfectly still and see If i can see any flying around or lure any towards me. If that doesn't draw them out I go and shake all my clothes on the floor and my blankets. I can't explain to you how smart chinese mosquitoes are. I've seen them hide behind things when i turn the light on, land and disguise themselves against dark things, or hide under my bed until I am not looking. Mosquitoes back home seem to hover around you aimlessly but these things hit and run. Maybe they are tiny robots controlled by the government. Who knows but I need to do something about them. My hunts aren't usually 100% successful. I bought some sort of mosquito repellant thing that plugs but because I can't read chinese I failed to realize I needed to buy the fluid for It also. So annoying.
Since I started writing this blog, Corey: 2 kills Mosquitoes: 8 bites

Anyways, tomorrow I don't have to go to work but I still have to get up early. Me and some of the other teachers who arrived late are going to the police station to get our residency permits. Actually I don't have to work for the next two days because like I said Wednesday is a holiday. Awesome. So goodnight everybody, hope all is well on the other side of the world.

Life in Wuhan

I finally got into my blog! I've been having problems logging on for the last few days or so. I have to go through a website that blocks my IP so i can get onto blogger.com because blogger is blocked by China. So i hope people have not lost interest and will continue to check up on me and my crazy adventures. Let me fill you in on my last week or so.
but first!
The top 5 weird shit i've seen while in China so far.

5. People smoking in a Hospital
4. Having a man grab a live chicken out of a cage break its neck, drain its blood and boil it beside me while I was eating a meal.
3. In the middle of the morning the entire school goes into the field and does a synchronized dance (picture 2000 asian kids dancing to techno) and then after lunch, everyone in China has "nap-time," even government workers.
2. Students will give ME a present on their birthdays.
1. Parents will whistle to their children to get them to pee/shit on sidewalks (some strange form of auditory potty training)

I am almost positive I will have a new list at least each month, as each day i'm learning and seeing strange things.

So i'm sitting here at about 9pm putting off marking my grade 5's workbooks. They learnt about writing letters the other day and I got them to write a letter to their grandparents telling them about their teacher Corey. Not actually, just a pretend letter. Last week they had learnt how to vaguely describe people so to describe me I also taught them the words; tattoo, beard and earrings along with extremely handsome and very strong. To be fair they had the option wether to include those words or not but let me read you an example of one of them:

Dear Grandma and Grandpa,
My teachers name is, Cary. He is very clever and cuet! I'm very like his english class, and he teacher very well! OK. I'm very good! Bye Bye
Love,
Eive

I think I will see past the misspelling of my name, the obvious spelling errors and lack of using "extremely handsome" because you can't read that and not think it's adorable. I am learning more and more how to be a better teacher everyday and i'm glad I am "teacher very well!"
I've been taking extra jobs at different schools also and its been giving me the opportunity to see how things are run elsewhere. I'll have to say the kids at this school are geniuses compared to the other two schools i've been to. First, to help clarify the stories and future stories, let me explain a bit about the geography of Wuhan.
Wuhan is divided into 3 huge parts: Hankou (the biggest), Hanyang (the most scenic) and Wuchang (where i live). They used to be three distinct towns a long time ago until the two hans joined the wu and became Wuhan. Wuchang is seperated from Hankou and Hanyang by the Yangtze river, the most famous river in China. My school has three branches in Wuchang. The one we live above is where I work and is known as the Nanhu branch in southern Wuchang. The Main branch is in eastern Wuchang and the Mae ling branch (which I just call Xudong) is to the north near the bridge to Hankou. Everyone follow? haha
Today I worked at a school up near Xudong (pronounced shoo-dong.) It is a primary school much like the one here except for one fact; The students there either don't care about english at all, or have terrible teachers. Judging by today I assume it is a mix of both. I went in there and taught three classes of 3's, 4's and 5's. At my school I can almost openly communicate with alot of my grade 5's and they more or less understand what i'm saying but there, simple questions I asked like "how old are you?" or "where are you from?" blew right over their heads. I tried to play simon says with one of the classes but it failed because they didn't know what legs were. One of the teachers told me after that they do not really practice speaking out loud or writing english. They just kind of listen to the teacher read some stuff and repeat what they hear, not really learning the meaning along the way. When I asked them individual questions they looked terrified.
When I went to teach the grade 4 class their teacher stayed and decided to help out.
Oh ok well heres the problem, I thought.
The girl who I had seen outside the school and assumed was a hooker walked in with a microphone strapped to her head, a very tight dress just barely covering her ass, a rediculous amount of makeup and high-heels. "I am their english teacher!" the hooker/teacher said "My name is Minnie!" how perfect. My dogs name.
She saw that I was asking them "where are you from?" and trying to get them to respond "I come from China" and walked to the board and decided to try to help out. In big letters she wrote "What do you come from?" and started asking the students.
I looked at her sideways and didn't quite know how to tell her that it was clearly a WHERE kind of question. Unless of course the answer was the womb of my mother and judging by the students current performance I assumed this was not the case. For the first time I actually realized the value of having us foreign teachers here to teach english. It is generation after generation of bad chenglish speakers teaching each other until a native speaker steps in and breaks the chain. I see now why they pay for everything, put us up in nice apartments and treat us to expensive buffet dinners.
I came home and really looked forward to teaching my students here tomorrow. They are miles ahead of those students and its a great feeling knowing that our kids here will have a better chance out in the world because of us. That's really what teaching is all about I suppose.

I have so many other stories I wish I had time to write about. Like Sunday, how i got lost on my way to the other job in Hankou and some random man took me for a drive on his scooter to help me (which was terrifying.) Or how I walked out of class yesterday to see a little boy during recess with a microphone singing poker face by lady Gaga. It seems during recess they have a little talent show in the field with a different person each day.
I'll also have you know that I went to the club again last weekend and DID NOT get picked up by a gay guy. But we strolled in there and didn't spend a cent on drinks like before. I've gotten over the feeling of being a monkey in a cage whenever I go out and started to embrace it as kind of a celebrity status here. Everyone just looking at you, they all think you have lots of money or are someone famous from the west. Little do they know I'm a poor musician from a boring city in Canada.
Anyways I have to go mark the rest of the letters about me. I have been meaning to spend a day taking more pictures from around my school and Wuhan, I will do that as soon as I remember too!
Goodbye while I go flatter myself,

Corey

Settling into a schedule

So it's been awhile since i've written a blog on here. Mostly because i've begun to settle in to a daily schedule of teaching and planning lessons. Let me update you on the last few days.
On the weekend some of the foreign teachers decided to go to a big chinese club called Soho. Beforehand, we taxied over to another teachers apartment for a good ole fashioned pre-drink. Because I am so intelligent and lose things every 5 minutes, I decided it would be a grand idea to leave my cell phone in the taxi on the way over there. I've had the thing for two days. Go team me. I thought I would never see the thing again but Sean with his limited chinese skills somehow managed to call my phone, get the driver to pick up and direct him to meet us to give it back. I offered the driver a smoke and 10 kuai and after he looked at me like i was a cheap a-hole I went merrily on my way, happy to have my cell phone back. Since being in china I have already lost one of my teaching books, broke my sunglasses and left my cell phone in a taxi. Not bad for a week and those who know me well, understand this is normal life for me.
Anywho, so after purchasing a bottle of bai jiu (this stuff is nuts!) and its less potent friend jin jiu, we wandered our way into the club. Apparently, they don't ID here or wait in lines, you can drink your own booze on the street outside the club and also smoke inside. Awesome.
Almost immediately I noticed that we were the only foreigners in the entire place and was also quick to notice the blond haired, metrosexual asian man dancing on the stage singing a crazy chinese pop song and yelling at the audience something completely unintelligible to me. I guess he was like the MC/pump the crowd up guy/fashion statement guy that we sometimes see at our clubs. The place was huge. I was also happy to notice that almost every one at the bar wanted us to come drink with them at their tables. One man gathered us all around his table and bought a 1000 kuai bottle of hennessey and started handing it out to us. He pretty much just kept yelling "I'm sooo crazzyyy" and dancing around handing us shots and drinks. What a hilarious man.
Later on said man was dancing on a riser and pulled me up to dance with him. I thought alright, this guys just the most friendly wild asian man here and loves foreigners. He yelled lots of things in my ear that I could not make out and somehow in all this I ended up giving him my phone number. God people are friendly in Asia. After leaving the riser I noticed all the other teachers laughing at me. Apparently this man was gay and had tried to pick some of the other teachers up also, which is why they weren't drinking with him anymore. Well then.
Between the hilariousness/awkwardness of that, the bai jiu and the triumphant return of my cell phone i'd say it was an overall good night. None of us payed a cent. It seems it is somewhat of a social status thing to be the one in the club partying with the "wei guo rens" in China. At least in an area with very little foreigners.

When monday strolled along it was time to get back to work and start my first full week of teaching. Every monday they have a big ceremony in courtyard/soccer field thing, much like last week. I strolled down there and to my surprise I noticed I was the only foreign teacher present. The others had all opted to sleep in. I soon learnt why.
Nemo walked up to me and said I was going to speak in front of the whole school again. They have a thing called the "sentence of the week" in which one of the foreign teachers gets on the mic and teaches a phrase to the entire school of 1500 children. I was really not prepared for this and had not thought of a "sentence of the week" and "fuzzy panda kill robot good" was out of the question today. I begged him to let me go next week in order to have something actually prepared and thankfully I got off the hook. Anyone with any suggestions for the sentence of the week for next monday i'd be happy to consider them.

I currently just finished marking 135 workbooks and making 5 lesson plans for tomorrow. Slowly I am learning some of my students names, personalities, strengths and weaknesses and also how to be a good teacher. My grade 5's are learning how to fill in information like first name, last name and addresses. The chinese don't have the same concept of names as we do and you would usually refer to a person here by their title first and then family name. Only close friends or family would call them by their given name. Explaining to them that I have three different names and that my family name was at the end actually took a whole lesson. I gave them their full names for the first times by explaining they would use their english names first and their chinese family names last. This also gave me an opportunity to learn some more of their names and I have a few more interesting ones for you. I have a kid named Dragon, Butterfly, Angel, Grace, Hope and one kid named Bob! who insists that the ! is and essential part of his name. In Lloyds class it seems they are even more rediculous. He told me he has two kids named Banana and one named Milk. What crackhead english teacher or parent named these children? Or perhaps they named themselves. I think if i was young and had the opportunity to name myself I would've definitely gone the route of my grade 4 and named myself Dragon. So badass. I expect great things from him.

I'm learning more everyday how to plan lessons properly, how to make sure each kid understands what I am teaching and how to control my classroom. Some things make them go bonkers while others bore the hell out of them. Its all a balance being a teacher and I find it stimulating, challenging and creative. Tomorrow the school is taking all 21 teachers out for big dinner. They really take care of us here and are very happy to have us. I will try to keep my blog updated and also take more pictures of stuff!
all is well,

Corey

P.S I will also be filming a video of the kids doing the MJ routine again soon. Be prepared. It's a magnificent achievement in cinematography